When Alcohol Intrudes On Women’s Lives
By: Mary Ellen Barnes, Ph.D.
Click here to contact Mary and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile
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Whether as drinkers or not, or as wives, mothers, sisters or friends, employers or employees, all of us have experienced alcohol’s destructive intrusion into our lives or the lives of those around us. Perhaps we have felt our own use slipping out of control, or been affected by others, or tried to figure out what we might do to help others. Regardless of our involvement, most of us have felt confused and uncertain about how to help ourselves or anyone else.
Alcohol abuse, dependence, and addiction are health matters about which little is said, and much of what is believed is wrong. The result is that futile attempts result in more frustration than relief. It is, however, possible to work one’s way out of the fog, to assist another in doing so, and to redirect life to new and productive goals.
As with any complicated and difficult task, in order to succeed it may be necessary to seek out qualified help. As in most areas of personal growth, it’s easier to accomplish with the encouragement, expertise, and the motivation that a good guide will provide. It’s also easier to avoid the dead ends that crop up without sufficient attention to your interests, strengths, values and goals. Think of it in the same way you would when hiring a personal trainer, a coach, a doctor, weight loss specialist, or psychologist.
Remember too, as in all areas of personal change, nothing works for everyone. Indeed, most alcohol treatment programs work for less than 10% of those who try them. So while not being discouraged by statistics, or setbacks, seek help that is not committed to a single approach, look for professionals who specialize, and discuss different outcomes (moderation vs. abstinence, for example). Additionally, being an alcoholic does not confer any special ability for helping others, so look diversity in staffing backgrounds.
As in most of life, your success with easing your own problems, or in helping others, will be achieved through motivation, optimism, good planning, and consistent effort. Humor will also be required. So will a willingness to give new things, activities, and people a chance.
Begin thinking of change as an adventure, not a sentence inflicted on you. Yes, adventures usually involve some discomfort and a little fear and homesickness for the way things were. But they can also uncover new sides to you and your life, new activities, skills, and pleasures. All things you would have missed out on had you not taken a chance.
©Copyright 2008 by Mary Ellen Barnes. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry.
Click here to contact Mary and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile