By Debbie Devine MS, LPC Diplomate

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“I just can’t do ANYTHING right,” my client sighed as she settled further into the couch. ‘I should just accept that I am fat, depressed and a failure at relationships. Nothing will help me.”

And as long as she chooses to continue talking to, and about, herself that way, she WILL be overweight, depressed and alone, and most importantly, unable to change, regardless of her therapist’s skills. For the fact is that every cell in our body responds to what we think and say about ourselves. (more…)

By Dr. Noah H. Kersey, Ph.D.

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It’s a bit disturbing to talk with engaged couples to hear all the various reasons why they choose to marry.

What many will not admit is that, sometimes, they are more in love with the “idea” of marriage than they are in love with the person they are about to marry.

Let’s examine this process from a physiological perspective.

When two people meet and begin their courtship they typically evaluate the relationship from their five senses. They might like how the person looks, how they smell, how they feel when they touch and so on. Then, they evaluate how the other person behaves in a variety of situations. (more…)

By: Stefanie Luna, LMFT

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I just finished reading Waiting for Daisy: A Tale of Two Continents, Three Religions, Five Fertility Doctors, An Oscar, An Atomic Bomb, A Romantic Night, and One Woman’s Quest to Become a Mother, by Peggy Orenstein. Now that’s a title! And a perfect one for the memoir that follows. (more…)

By: Jennifer B Baxt, LMFT, LMHC

It is often thought that depression more commonly affects older teenagers, adults and seniors, but children suffer from depression as well. Many suffer in silence without proper treatment because their parents don’t understand the signs and don’t seek help for their child as a result. This means that the child does not get the proper treatment they need and this can have a negative impact on the child’s future; how they interact with other individuals, the level of confidence they develop and so on. Many parents will instead become frustrated over their child’s behavior, mostly as a result of their lack of understanding of child depression. They are not familiar with the signs that would normally alert someone that the child is depressed and think that the child is just acting up for no good reason. (more…)

By: Mitchell Milch, LCSW

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Let’s face it, we all want to avoid making the same mistakes raising our kids we believe our parents or surrogate parents made raising us. This is especially the case when we still hold grudges toward parents for what has or has not become of us. Under this historical cloud, we know yet may not admit to the old adage: “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.” What this adage speaks to is the IMPOSSIBILITY of NEVER being like the parents we recall as having “screwed us up.” As much as we swear that we will never treat our kids the way we were treated, the moments inevitably arise when we sound and act like our parents. This is human nature. We will on occasion, identify and repeat the most noxious and self defeating parenting practices employed by our parents. (more…)

By: Lynne Angela Santiago, MS, LMHC, Certified Sex Therapist

Authentic living and the transgendered person <!– @page { size: 8.5in 11in; margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } –>

To live authentically means to be the author of ones own life, to live based on one’s own truths about self, honoring your true nature and expressing it to the world.

For many of us, this is our life challenge. Influenced by the should and the should nots of our external world, we may make life decisions that are not really in congruence with our true self. Careers, relationships, life styles, religious and political beliefs, are just a few of the things we may choose to own, in an effort to gain approval from others or keep the boat of life steady. Yet they may be choices made and lived that do not truly reflect our inner being. (more…)

By Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

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We’ve been there, we are there or we could go there, and fall in love with his/her potential. Please heed my warning, “Look out girlfriend!!”

The tricky bit about this challenge is that we all have great potential. Some people realize a only a small bit of their potential, some people realize a good deal of it and some people are actualizing most or all of their potential. We are all capable of greatness~this truth lies latent in all of us. (more…)

By Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

Click here to contact Jeanine and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

“One common mistake is to think that one reality is The Reality. You must always be prepared to leave one reality for a greater one.” ~ Mother Meera

Whenever I am grappling with any issue and I am stuck in guilt, anger, fear or any other unpleasant emotion, I try to remember that there must be another perspective. Many clients come to life coaching because they know intuitively that there is another perspective that will offer them solace, hope and an opportunity to recreate the life they desire. A supportive coach might ask “Can I offer another perspective?” and assist their client in viewing their challenges from a healing and more helpful vantage point. Sometimes, my clients and I will go back and forth and brainstorm different reality perspectives, even outrageous perspectives, in order to break free from the shackles of limited thought. (more…)

By Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

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Many years ago I remember sitting outside with my friend on Huntington Harbor and having a big cry. I had just broken-up with a boyfriend and I felt devastated. As Liz pushed my long hair from the tears it was stuck to on my face she said, “Jeanine, you are one romantic fool!” Suddenly, we started laughing!” It was true; I was one big romantic fool! (more…)

By: Jeanine Austin, Ph.D.

Click here to contact Jeanine and/or see her GoodTherapy.org Profile

If the metaphysical premise that anything that is not love is a call for love is true, we might reflect on our lives and find that unloving behavior towards us or by us was really just an attempt to love and be loved. If we look closely into any situation we can see that almost all unloving thinking or behavior was a misguided attempt at love. (more…)