Authentic Living and the Trans-gendered Person
By: Lynne Angela Santiago, MS, LMHC, Certified Sex Therapist
Authentic living and the transgendered person <!– @page { size: 8.5in 11in; margin: 0.79in } P { margin-bottom: 0.08in } –>
To live authentically means to be the author of ones own life, to live based on one’s own truths about self, honoring your true nature and expressing it to the world.
For many of us, this is our life challenge. Influenced by the should and the should nots of our external world, we may make life decisions that are not really in congruence with our true self. Careers, relationships, life styles, religious and political beliefs, are just a few of the things we may choose to own, in an effort to gain approval from others or keep the boat of life steady. Yet they may be choices made and lived that do not truly reflect our inner being.
For the trans-gendered person, the stakes are high. To feel, that within them, lies a woman, when the body itself is male, and feel forced to live as a male is, at its core, the quintessence of unauthentic living one can possible imagine.
For many of us, considering the end of a marriage or changing careers mid-life, seems almost unendurable. Fears of rocking the boat, creating havoc on ones life and the life of others is enough to keep the best of us on an unauthentic path.
To consider changing ones gender? Unimaginable for most.
Yet, for the trans-gendered person, few options exist. All of life’s choices are impacted. This entails the best of pretending, the finest of acting—of the academy awarding winning type. Biologically male, trans-gendered people often force themselves into high masculine jobs, get married, have children, accept male oriented gifts, live in the fear of being detected by everyone. The same is true for biologically female, trans-gendered persons. They take on the female role, become wives and mothers or choose jobs that are more female oriented in order to avoid being discover.
They are often confused. Suffer depression. Contemplate suicide.
Trans-gendered people who make the difficult choice to seek a more authentic life don’t just rock the boat, they violently tip it over and swim fervently to a new shore. They risk losing everything—to include family members, friends, children, and jobs. They risk all in their quest to live a life truer to their inner being.
We can learn a lot about authentic living from these courageous people. I know, I have.
©Copyright 2008 by Lynne Angela Santiago. All Rights Reserved. Permission to publish granted to GoodTherapy.org. The following article was solely written and edited by the author named above. The views and opinions expressed are not necessarily shared by GoodTherapy.org. Questions or concerns about the following article can be directed to the author or posted as a comment to this blog entry.